Well Happy New Year Lads and Lasses! What a crackin’ year its been so far!
In case you haven’t heard, I’ve announced some pretty big news this week!
!!! I’M GETTING MARRIED !!!
It sounds so strange saying that out loud….
I’m getting married….
I’m getting married…
I’m getting married…
Orite, orite I’ll stop.
Just like every other 30something year old I have dreamt of my wedding day since I was a bairn. I used to put my grans doily from the living room coffee table on my head and walk down her living room rug with the plastic bouquet of flowers that normally perched in a glass on said doily; her dog Ben made a great reliable vicar and my cousins looked great in the pink flannelette nighties that served as makeshift bridesmaid dresses….. both Mark and James!!
Over the years, the ideas of my wedding have changed to suit my phase… there was the big fat gypsy wedding phase, when I wanted the biggest, loudest zebra print dress… then there was the goth phase, in which I wanted a big black laced number, complete with New Rock boots, and then there was the boho chic phase… and that dress had a light brown belt with daisies round my head.
Although my tastes and styles have changed over the years, my reasons for getting married haven’t.
All I ever wanted was to be loved.
If you’ve read any of my earlier blogs, you’ll know that I have suffered all my life with mental health issues. I have bipolar type II and borderline personality disorder. Having these issues have often made relationships difficult, especially when I hadn’t been diagnosed and I didn’t really know what was going on. But throughout them all, all I ever wanted was to be loved for who I was.
To be loved for who you are is not something that is exclusive to people with mental health issues. Everybody wants to be loved for they who are, and deep down, we’re all the same. We’re all just trying to get through life as best we can. Even those of us who, on the outside seem well put together, have moments when we think the things running through our heads are complete madness and we wonder if other people experience the same lunacy. – well the answer to that…is yes….yes we do!
My inner tree hugging hippy loves love and everything about it. Love is a universal language spoken by every human being and every animal on this planet. The human race is split by race, religion, politics and beliefs and we spend billions of pounds fighting each other over our differences. But we’ve all experienced that all consuming love that you can feel coursing through your vains, that love that turns your head upside down and makes you think crazy things and do things you never thought you would be capable of. On a basic human level… we’re all the same. If only we focused more on that, instead of the hatred.
As a teenager, my first love… I thought was it. I thought that was me. We were going to get married and be together forever. And I remember how it felt when he got his mate to “dump” me over the phone. I thought my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I would never breath again, colours seemed darker, the landscape seemed bare, there was no point in existing anymore. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to be swallowed up by the grief of losing my first love… I had Mock GCSE’s to study for! That kind of love and heartache; you never forget.
Fast forward to 15 years later. Whilst at a festival in my hometown, I happened across a drummer who I had watched earlier in the afternoon… and when I say happened across him, I mean I fell over my 2 left feet, reet into his shoulder! And the rest as they say is history.
I met this drummer on a Thursday evening at a festival, and by the Saturday I knew I loved him. I knew I wanted to be with this man forever. After 18 years of searching I had finally found my soulmate. That all consuming love that I remembered filled my veins once more, but ten fold. And over the last 3 years, that love has only got more intense. Everything in the world makes sense. Every smirk, every wink, every hug, every pep talk. I fall in love with him just that little bit more everyday.
It’s no secret that our relationship has been fraught with tensions. We both have our mental health issues which impacts on our careers and our finances, we were flooded and made homeless, we have had to rebuild our lives more times that I care to count. We have done everything backwards and to most people, as a couple, we don’t make sense. But actually, we make perfectly imperfect sense.
Whilst listening to Madness one Saturday night, they sang ‘it must be love’, and my soulmate got on his bended knee and asked me to be his wife…. I gave him my answer mid – sentence and cried all over him like a baby. My love for this man knows no bounds.
So, that pretty much brings us up to date. Here I am, in the New Year, a bride to be and planning the day of my dreams.
But why should care about any of this…well….. I have decided to blog my way through my wedding planning. So this post is the official launch of my ‘Gettin’ hitched in the Lakes’ blog! I will be scoping out the best, the biggest and quirkiest venues. I will be tasting my way through all of the cake shops, I will be trying on every. single. dress. that Cumbria has to offer. I will be looking at all budgets, DIY weddings and wedding planning services. I will be bringing you the best tips and tricks and together we will get me down the aisle!
I will be covering a whole host of topics a long the way. So… any suggestions of where to start, any recommendations then please leave me a message!
So… let the savings begin, let the mad ideas start forming, let the Pinterest boards be created and let the path to Bridezilla be paved. But throughout it all I will remember one thing;
I wrote a blog once;
And it will remind me along the way of why I said yes in the first place.
To my soulmate,
Thank you for asking.
I can’t wait to build our perfectly imperfect life with you
All my Love